Deadlines

Deadlines. The name exudes a sense of horror every time I listen to it. Well it isn't surprising considering the fact that it has the word DEAD in it. We're following deadlines nearly everyday in our lives. "I want this file in by tomorrow" , "Wrap up this work in two hours" , "have to finish this chapter today" . So is that all that there is left of life? Has life just become one deadline after the other?

We all hate deadlines, but very frankly can't live without them either. They're like those ghastly medicines the doctors forced down my throat. Yes, I needed them to live. Thats what these deadlines do. We need them every single day of our lives. They help give life a direction, structure and sense. But while doing so, they rob us of one thing. Spontaneity. What fun is life if everything's so planned out? They rob us of the same happiness they give. Ironical na? Well what isnt? Only when you start pondering over these intricacies do you realise the ironies inherent in them.

But a question still remains. Why can't I respect deadlines set by me, and only take deadlines set by others very seriously? Is it my innate desire to pacify everyone or is it just because I don't take myself seriously . I would hate to consider both these prospects because they seem equally disastrous. But wait! Why is appeasing others so disastrous? I mean, shouldn't we help our fellow brothers and be as selfless as possible? Aha!! But there's a catch! I should only do so till I'm not hurting my own interests. But that means I'll have to be a tad bit selfish. But is it wrong?
Everyone's selfish after all.

Well, I've deviated from the topic (as usual) and have drawn an uncanny relationship between deadlines and being selfish. So once we complete our deadlines, we can be as selfless as possible. But then again, deadlines never do end and being selfless only counts when others need help, not when you're free. I shall ponder over this fact and procrastinate a little more and miss yet a another deadline. Notice how selfless I am.

Jab we met.......

me: JAB WE MET!!!

saw it for the first time today....

I love her character....

Garima: i know

is it over?

me: end ka rehta hai....

another 20 mins

Garima: okay

its quite cute

i am reminded of me and N****

me: no no no.....

Ur nothing like geet

Garima: he's like shahid though

me: I can relate more with her...

Garima: ufffff.....

samar

me: RICH, Shy, and funny

Garima: ya

me: but im more fun!!!

Spontaneous

Garima: thats what you think

me: childish

Garima: and i am CHIDLIKE

i am better

me: childlike is mature = boring

im jhatak matak

Garima: you are lots of spice without any taste

i am just the right blend of masalas

you are like janpath stuff

i am like branded stuff

you are 'in your face'

i evoke mystery

you try too hard

i am enchanting

me: madam......thats what makes me so special....

so what if I try too hard..........

Garima: that makes you local

me: so what if im in your face...??

IM SAMAR....

and I love myself!!!

Garima: yeah

me: "main apna favourite hoon"

Garima: hmm

A Perspective on perspectives

Why is it that whenever I read another person's blog or a discourse I get so influenced by it that whenever I write my own piece, my chain of thoughts continuously steer in that direction? Their thoughts and ideas just permeate into mine. Now this is a tee bit scary, because either my perspectives are so flimsy that they shake whenever I'm introduced to a new idea or because I haven't put that amount of thought into life and aspects affecting it.

I'm glad that I've accepted this flaw in me, because I'm living in denial half the time. A superior attitude at an inferior status is, after all, the worst situation you could be in. But where do I go from here? I can stop reading altogether and prevent my mind from expanding its horizons in an attempt to find my own thoughts and voice which merely aren't "manufactured", but my own
Or I can just find my little voice in their thoughts.

But in pursuing the former, I'll block out the array of thoughts that millions of philosophers have passed down through the generations as a result of pondering over situations and facts of live. I call them philosophers for I can see their love for knowledge the quest to search for the "unpondered" . If I follow the latter, then I'll loose out on the joy of being me, where my logic and my reasoning are just mine and not of someone else's . Of course, I'll be glad if they share the same perspective, but at least the perspective is going to be mine.

I guess the only answer to this is that I question myself. Every time I'm introduced to an idea or a thought, I analyse it objectively and don't let my emotions play havoc with my mind . Thats what happens most of the times. I see their clarity in my chaos. The chaos in my head because of these silly emotions. But its so ironical, because I can't live without these very bursts of joy and anger. So then its a fight between facts and feelings, isn't it? I should learn to disagree or agree calmly and not be the rebel that I am. I should let the thoughts invade my mind so that I can reason with them and fight with them. Coming to conclusions at the drop of a hat or simply running away from something that attacks my line of thinking is something I really can do without. Ignorance really is bliss.

The mind has to be flexible enough to have a mature perspective. I'm stressing on mature because half the time we make false judgments based on our naivety due to the lack of experience. The experiences which make our perspectives richer, but also more rigid in a way. So let me get this straight? You do need more perspectives and views , so that you can build on your own. But you can't let them appeal to your emotional side. In this world were an opinion springs up every few nanoseconds, can I be strong enough to reason with all of them or just accept them as they are because others say so. Do I really need to have a perspective on everything, every time, or can I afford to be indifferent on some occasions? Do I really have to be so critical about everything that surrounds me? At least in an attempt to elevate my thoughts, I am building up on my ability to reason. Well these questions still daunt me and the road to "enlightenment" is indeed tough. But would I be erring on the edge of complacency if I were to say that at least Ive started caring?

Why do I love wasting time??

listening to random songs.........
playing my guitar........
chasing cars ..... (lol....u get the point!!!)
chatting up....
cheap ass msgs......
Day Dreaming.......
making plans that are never completed.....
watching the most hideous programs on the TV....
Guitar again....
Shit!!! Its 4 in the morning and I haven't completed this reading.....
oh.....lemme just finish writing my blog......

Goss Goss Goss!!!!!

Your heart skips a beat, your palms start sweating, you get goosebumps...... Yes its true. Your friends on the phone or on Gtalk have some fresh and steaming hot Goss.....Ahh!! Bless their souls....their daily dose of Goss just makes up my day!! They will ofcourse say it in the most matter-of-fact way, which is of course very boring. But spicing it up is my job!! Thats why they call me the Gossip Mongrel. Being the source of scandalous news is so much fun....but Its a tough job and with it comes alot of discipline, patience and responsibility. So here are some rules if you also want to be that GOSS KING or QUEEN (yes girls, I believe in Gender Equality!!) . So here goes nothing -

1. Don't Get excited when you receive the news, you may miss out the on the details. Ah..that brings me to my next point.

2. The Devil is in the details. Yes, honey....coz everyone knows whats happening thanks to the Mobile phone (Damn them!!). You're only worth it when you know more than all those cheap wannabe Gossip mongers. So that people call you and you can spice it up, according to their tastes of course.

3. Never Disclose your source. People will taunt you, bribe you and want to kill you. But a good Page 3 informer never discloses his/her sources.

4. The next point is rather tricky. This is where your expertise and years of practice comes in. Make sure you're only telling the goss to reliable sources. Dont let them quote you at all. I will elucidate this further for my dear readers. When calling a person to share the "news", get them so darn excited that they're jumping off their beds (but not too much because then u'll just dissapoint them) and then make them swear that they can't tell anyone (which of course they'll do!!). But this way they wont reveal your identity, because they already know that they're breaking your trust, so going ahead and revealing the source is just doubly sinful. Yes yes, there are pinky swears, there are those very random "God Promise" (which I dont believe in, so it works amazingly for me!!) and "mother swear", which is just hilarious again.

5. Yes, you can spice it up. Thats what rumours are!!! Thats your commission honey......after all, you've worked so very hard.

6.If you hate someone, put his name in between, just somehow!!! Its called innovation!!

7. A good Goss source is never ever involved in any scandal!!! You dont want people talking about you, do you??

8. Be as mysterious as possible, give them information in bits and pieces first asking them what they know about the entire thing.

9. Ok, this is the toughest my friends. GET RELIABLE SOURCES. Make sure they're fast, and they have solid news. And make sure they dont take over your regime and claim to be the new gossip people!!!

Its all about maintaining that delicate balance. Till then I leave you with these inspiring thoughts!!!

"News is about what people do. Gossip is about how they enjoyed doing it."

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news (read goss) , which obeys its own special laws."

So there you go you aspiring young kids!!!! The words of wisdom from your very own!!! I'll be back. But till then......LET THE GOSS BEGIN!!

Once upon a night

I was sitting on the floor staring blankly outside my window on this summer night, as if I were searching for something that could fill this void in me. It was raining, the drops of water fell from the skies peacefully. The guitar rested on the wall I was leaning against, but it just lay there today. The lamp above my head and the cup of tea wrapped around my fingers tried their best to ward off the cold, but that hollow feeling grew. The droplets striking my window tried to break the monotony but, in vain. I just sat there, enjoying this silence, devoid of the warmth I craved for. The flavours of the tea blended with the freshness of the earth and brought peace to my soul. I smiled, playing with what I had suppressed within me, as if enjoying it. I coiled my body, trying to find that warmth again. The wind gushed through the room again.

This was me. The me, no one knew.

Just some more quotes..........

Hitch Hikers guide to the Galaxy -

"You live and learn. At any rate, you live. "

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. "

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."
___________________________________________________________________


Normal isn't something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.

Why should anyone be afraid of dying? Life will hurt you, not Death.

When money talks, nobody minds the grammar.

Living is easy with eyes closed...Misunderstanding is all you see... - The Beatles

When an equal loving cannot be, let the more loving one be me - Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. - Oscar Wilde

"My father used to say, "don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.'" - Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

longed for him. got him. shit. -margaret Atwood (Her in my case, but still!!)

Shantaram.......

News is about what people do. Gossip is about how they enjoyed doing it.

"I dont know what frightens me more, the power that crushes us, or our endless ability to endure it "

"Some of the worst wrongs, were caused by people who tried to change things"

"Sometimes you love only with hope, sometimes, you cry without tears. Sometimes, thats all that is left, to cling together till the dawn."

"Happiness is a myth. it was invented to make us buy things"

"At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread instead is that we won’t stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone."

"If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke"

"You can never tell what people have inside them, until you start taking it away"

Songs that touch your soul

There just some songs
that seem to caress your soul.

They were meant for you
They were written for you
They make you laugh
They make you ponder
They just seem to make you
dream in wonder

As this song is playing over and over
it gets more addicting by the second.

I heard there was a secret chord
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
It starts from my nose and crinkles my toes
But right now everything is turning blue.
Well do it all, everything , on our own.
Because its just you and me, and all other people
with nothing to say, nothing to do.


Its what they do to me

Love and Confusion......

She saw him with the corner of her eyes as she unbuttoned her shirt, slowly, taking it one at a time. He knew she wasn’t going to let him have it that easy. She did always say "Teasing's the best part". The shadows formed by the light dangling from the ceiling were playing with him as much as she was. At half past twelve on this cold winter night her silhouette, in those shadows, were making him imagine things which he never did. She untied her hair and hid herself behind it. Thats how she did it, thats how she loved it. Her eyes invited him. Yes, she was beautiful and yes, her eyes spoke a million words. He switched off the lights, only to see the moonlight working up its magic on her.

The grin on her faced said it all, she was enjoying every bit of his frustration. There was silence in the room, she could feel him breathing, in anticipation, she thought. He had green eyes, the ones that would drive any woman mad. He knew it.

He drew her closer, gently but firmly, as his arm curled around her waist. His breath moistened her nose. Her breath condensed in his. Her smile grew bigger as he caressed her back He knew she was ready. He wet his lips, she bit hers. He played with her ear and made his way to her chin, pulling her hair from behind so that it hurt. He heard her pain. His lips rolled down her neck. They kissed as he pushed her to the wall.

"Its my turn now," he thought to himself as he threw her on the bed and made his way down to her navel and brushed it with his upper lip. The ticklish feeling would have made any woman giggle, but not her, not tonight. As she tried to, she was thinking, thinking about Adam. It started drizzling outside.

Adam, he caressed her soul, not just her body. He tickled her mind, not just her navel. But it was over. She knew she could never love him again, could she? Her mind and her naked body swung between Adam and him. Lying on his bed, as he made love to her, in this two bedroom apartment, in New York, it just didn’t seem right. It just never felt the same. Would she ever feel anything like what she did with Adam? When they made love, it was soulful. She had to throw him out of her mind and body, what was she doing? She didnt say a word throughout the night.

It was true, he had everything a woman wanted, a woman desired. She had to be with him, but did she really want to? This wasn't the how she pictured it. He knew what he wanted, and he knew how to get it too. He tried harder to satisfy her, thinking it was one of her ways to tease him. If she cried right now, would it give it away? The drizzling gave way to a storm, it was pouring outside. But he loved her more than anything else. "No, NO; it doesn’t have to be this way" she thought to herself as she forced her body to like him, to like what he was doing to her. Her mind fighting the urge to cry, her body fighting the urge to crumple and coil. The thunder sliced the night sky.

"It was his fault, he deserved what he got.” I have to move on, have to let go……but like this?" She screamed, not loud enough for him to hear it. Didn’t he see the pain on her face? Was he busy satisfying her to even bother? He had a reputation to live up to you see. One that took him quite a number of women to achieve.

Was she just another one, whose name he would strike off after they were done or was she trying to get over her past by laying here with him? It was ironical indeed, they were making love.

The clock was ticking, trying to keep pace with them. Was there a future between them or was she just about to be thrown into the past? Could she possibly go back to him? Could she apologise to him for his mistake? Modesty was not one of her best virtues. The storm raged on through the night.....