.........

It was over. As the final bell rang and I placed my pen on the table. She took the paper from me and I smiled at her. As I packed up my things, I breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally", I said, "Its over." And what I thought was happiness, was suddenly hijacked by this sense of poignancy. No, my paper wasn't too bad, seems as if I've been praying too hard and someone's been listening for a change. As I stepped out of the hall, that anxiety kept growing, the smile seemed more fabricated and my mind flummoxed. I knew it was the last of my exams, but I also knew that these were my last steps here, my last high fives, my last chai at the tea stall I thought was my second home, the last time out of the gate.

"Life is merciless", I thought to myself as I realised the inevitability of time. Trying to hide my sorrows behind my laughter. I couldn't grasp the situation, I still can't. It was one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life. You really can't live this life again. Here, where everything is taken for granted, where you know people by name and they know yours. As another chapter closes in your life and the page turns, your story shall reveal a new twist. The hourglass has been inverted and as you try to clench your fist to catch hold of the last particles of sand, they melt away into memories.

Memories, you can't live without them, but then again, you can't live with them either. They give you strength to move on and then hold you back. I'm standing at my crossroads now. It sounds cliched, I agree. Its where I go from here with the handful black and white thoughts I possess. These sound like random ramblings. My eyes are heavy and my mind is numb. I leave for Bombay tomorrow, to start afresh..........Words fail me today. I can just sit, pray and watch.